I'm back with a new blog update. I'm a bit out of sync with my schedule, and have pretty much missed October, but ah well, that's life, I guess.
But enough of that, let's get to it...
Life/ Motivation/ Productivity
Ah, I love reading old entries, where I talk about all I want to accomplish in a given month, and then realising I failed.
I was just re-reading my September update, where I talked about wanting to get into a better sleep routine, and write 10k per week.
And I tried, I really did. For the first two weeks of September I wrote myself a schedule, set goals, and tried to stick to a routine.
Then we all got sick, and were in various stages of illness for the last couple of weeks of September/ first couple of weeks of October.
On top of that we're had some issues with Oldest which I won't go into here, as it's not something I/ he wants to talk about online.
But yes, all this to say I haven't done well on any of the goals I set myself, and the last month-ish has been kind of stressful.
Things are feeling better now though, and I've had some thoughts on various issues.
I do think there's something wrong with me physically/ mentally, as I've mentioned various times about sleepiness/ energy issues, which then creates a vicious cycle of me not sleeping until late (1am-ish at night) and being tired the following day.
Thursday night, we stopped watching TV and went to bed at 10:30 in stead of 11 pm. I browsed online until 11, and then read until 11:30. By 11:30 I was actually falling asleep while reading, which usually doesn't happen until at least midnight, usually later. Additionally, I didn't have a drink at watching TV time, so I didn't need to get up in the middle of the night to use the loo. I felt so much more refreshed, and in a much better headspace than I normally do of a morning.
I didn't nap Friday morning, but that could have been because the shopping was due to be delivered, and then we were getting ready to meet Mom, so I couldn't have slept even if I'd wanted to. I find having something to do, something to motivate me, helps me not nap.
So I have some ideas on how to get into a good sleeping pattern, but I'm still not convinced it's not, in part, caused by something medical.
As I mentioned in my last entry, I feel like my depression has gotten worse over the last 18 months, especially around my period ... which has gone crazy again. I now seem to be on a 20 day cycle. WTF?
In addition to the mental health issues and period problems, I've noticed my joints etc. aching a lot more. It could be caused by a number of things, such as change in weather or being overweight. I also learned depression can cause join and muscle pains. Whatever's going on is weird though, as sometimes I can't even lift a kettle full of water, as it hurts my wrists.
I know I keep saying I'll go to the doctors, and I will, but it probably won't be until mid-November, as the kids are on school break next week and we're decorating Oldest's bedroom, and then the following week I have appointments three days in a row. But after that I will make a real effort to go to the doctors.
Weight and Dieting
I know going back on a low carb/ low sugar diet would likely help with a lot of the issues I mentioned about, and even though my weight is creeping back up, I just don't think it's something I can do right now. As I've mentioned, things have been stressful, and eating nice things like cake, ice cream etc. helps. Not the best coping method, I know... but it's better than drugs and alcohol, right?
Breaking It Down
The other thing both me and Hubby have realised is perhaps we're trying too hard to fix too many things at once. There's money/ work issues, problems with Oldest, problems with sleep, fixing up the house, writing, and then dieting on top of that. Perhaps we're trying to tackle too many things at once, so we've decided to tackle a few things at a time, so it's more manageable.
As I said, we're decorating Oldest's room this coming week, and his issues seem under control, so that's once thing we're tackling/ tackled.
I'm also planning on doing NaNoWriMo this coming month (more on that in a moment), so that's writing tackled.
I am going to try to nap less in November, and as I said, go to the doctors, so hopefully by the beginning of December that will be more under control.
That's enough for now, I think. Once those things calm down/ smooth out, then we can look at dieting and other things that need improving. But trying to improve everything all at once is just too much to take on for us.
As I mentioned above, I haven't done much in the way of writing the last few months. I added a bit more to Choosing Sides, and I've begun serialising it on Wattpad. You can check it out here: www.wattpad.com/633473780-choosing-sides-author%27s-notes
Kyra and I resumed work on our co-novel, and decided to make some changes. The story we wrote in part last year, is now going to be book two in a series focused on a UK wrestling company. Book one will introduce the male lead for book two, but also follow two best friends, who're debuting in the company. It's a story Kyra and I have drafted a couple of times over the years, and we now feel it's the right time to really work on it and get it out there. It was going well, but we've had to put it on hiatus for a few weeks, so Kyra can work on her solo novel, Say What You Feel (Chaos and Consent #2), as she's on a tight deadline for it, because of it being due for release on November 6. Once her book is out, and she's had a break, we'll get back to it.
I spoke about re-writing my 2012 novel, Cupid, and I did start work on that, getting about 5k down, before illness hit. Then I lost my motivation to write ... until NaNoWriMo was approaching.
I've been conflicted on what to write in November, as I recently had an excellent idea for a young-adult, high fantasy book/ possible series. But, after much deliberation, I feel Cupid is the best choice to go with. It's more developed that the high fantasy, which I'm still working out the details of, and with less fantasy world-building needed. I think both could be excellent stories, but the high-fantasy probably isn't the right thing to write during NaNoWriMo, and I need to give myself more time to iron out the plot, and nail down all the world building aspects.
So I will be sticking with Cupid, and after re-reading the 5000 words I wrote in September, I'm certain it's the right choice. Damn it, I love that story, even if I do say so myself and what I've written so far is excellent. I'm so excited to work on it again once NaNoWriMo starts.
If you're interested in following my NaNWriMo progress, or learning more about Cupid, please check out my profile here.
Things at CQ have been uncertain and stressful, to the extent I was looking for something new. But I've spoken to Eugene recently, and he has assured me everything is okay, and that he is going to deal with his recent lack of communication, and also put in place some strategies so CQ can be more successful going forward. So, for the time being, I'm going to stick with it. I will try to focus on what I can control, and not worry about the aspects I can't. Job hunting is another stress I could do without right now, so I'm going to put it on the back burner until 2019, and hope in the next couple of months CQ stabilises and improves. It will also give me a chance to think if working in publishing is still what I want to do ... something I've been struggling with for a while. I don't know what I want to do with my career ... I think I need to sort out other aspects of my life, and my headspace, before I can decide on that.
Halloween is this coming Wednesday, and I'm so excited. The kids are off school, so we're going to decorate pumpkins and dress up (I'm dressing as Ursula from The Little Mermaid, Oldest is dressing as young Genji from Overwatch, and Youngest is dressing as Frankenstein Roadhog, also from Overwatch. Hubby isn't dressing as a specific character, but wants to try making scars etc. with liquid latex). I cannot wait. I think we're also going to watch Halloween movies, as Oldest wants to see SAW. I hope I can convince everyone to watch Hocus Pocus! ^_^
That's All Folks
I think that's everything for this month, so I'm going to end things here, and maybe play some Sims 3 before it's time to make dinner. We're having tacos!
Until next time, T.T.F.N ...
Thoughts, feelings and random updates from author Clare Dugmore.